READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
