Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
