Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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