Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
