I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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