matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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