Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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