they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
