I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
