these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
