just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
