i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
