I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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