I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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