She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
