he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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