Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Little spoons don't ask big questions
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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