I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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