She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
