so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
