If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
