If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize