I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
