puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize