please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
do nipples grow back?
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