shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize