Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i think i just lost a toe
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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