A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
