The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize