I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
