Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i can't believe i had my finger in that
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
