I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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