bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
