What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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