I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
