Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
