Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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