I didn't shave. On purpose
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Congratulations! We have a period
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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