why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
