there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
