I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
