Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
