How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize