oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
