So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
