why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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