Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
did i walk over a car last night?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
