i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
