i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
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There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
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Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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