So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
