you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
