Plan B is the new Plan A
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
