a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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