It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
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I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
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I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man