Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep