she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.