Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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