he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I haven't been this sober since birth.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
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its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
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i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?