So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
