I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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