I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
