Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize