I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
