i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just tell him i said nine months
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Are we still banned from the library?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Randomize
