i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
