im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
