So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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