yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
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