I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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