the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
